Disclaimer: This is sexually strong subject and may be a little too much for you. I don’t think it’s rated too bad, but just to be safe, if you can’t handle anything strong, then this is not a read for you. If you don’t care, please continue. Also, feminists, don’t get mad. Your section is joking… mostly.
So this blog topic comes about from a search done on wordpress. Someone used this search to find one of my blogs. So now I’m going to turn it into a blog that should be fun to read… or distasteful. You decide! Anyway, the dick is the male sexual organ that is located in the lower abdominal area. It also has many monikers such as: penis, cock, johnson, willy, trouser snake, garden hose, pogo stick, lollipop, etc. There’s many things you can call a man’s dick, which is really interesting. Just glad if you’re not a guy named Dick or Willy, or a person with the last name Johnson. Otherwise, your whole life will be trying to run away from penis jokes. But it’s okay. Stay strong.
So why do girls look at these things that dangle from our lower region? Honestly, penises are not attractive in the least. I own one, I know what it looks like, and I don’t know how any one could find it attractive. If you do, please go see a psychological professional. But what makes women stare at it? Well, when you’re fully clothed, it’s hard to notice a penis until it becomes a giant banana, boomerang, or whatever you call something really straight that sounds interesting. Or if you wear tighter shorts. Or if you wear briefs. The genitals will show. But why do women stare at it? Let’s direct below.
The Sexual Spirit
The sexual spirit is known as a woman who has probably been around the block a couple of times… or a baker’s dozen… or more. She knows what these things look like. Plus, she knows what it feels like. She really doesn’t have to guess about anything, and she knows why she wants to look at. She looks at a guy’s dick for one of two reasons: She wants it in some orifice of her body (or in her hand) or because she wants to see if he’s turned on by her presence or some other woman’s. If she’s feeling horny and wants to have sex, she’ll look at the man’s dick thinking, “I want that… RIGHT NOW! RAAAAAAHHHHHHH! HULK SMASH!” And she’ll kill the guy in the process. If she’s trying to see if he’s turned on, she’s going to hope she’s the one making it so. If not, she will find the person who is making him grow the lower Pinocchio and try to outdo her.
The scientist is the type who is curious about the whys and the whats and trying to figure everything out. It’s not about her sexual drive. It’s all about his sexual drive, and also his biological make up. She’s looking at his package in a curious manner, like it is her prey or her subject of interest. She may use binoculars or a telescope (if the guy is small in the pants). She’ll want to understand why he may be limp (normal) or in a hardened, Kakuna/Metapod state. Is it do to the fact that he’s thinking sexual thoughts? Or maybe it’s just his morning happiness? She also focuses on the shape of his penis because it lends to the “psychological” aspect of things. Some guys are hung differently. Not everyone is perfectly straight or curved like a banana. But shape is considered to be dictated by the underwear men wear. It’s a high possibility. She wants to know this for empirical data. She doesn’t care if his underwear makes him more of a potential baby making machine. She just wants to gather information for her science journal.
Feminists are some scary people. Especially the feminazi. As we all know, when a man is sexually aroused, his pogo stick becomes hard and grows a few inches. It’s like Pinocchio, though Gepetto never saw this happening to his puppet boy. However, feminists are like Dumbledore’s penis massacre army. They will pull out all the stops to disarm you. And by disarm you, I mean, dismember your other half. They do not like men seeing women as sexual objects, so if she sees you with a bone bone, it’s over my friend. Because to her, it will mean that you’re sexually aroused by some woman, and probably one yo udon’t even know. That puts her in the “objects” category. A feminist will not scope out your dick for her own pleasure (well… sexual pleasure), but rather to inflict pain upon you should you even get excited. Exercise extreme caution gentlemen!
Like the scientist, but the doctor will try and figure out all these symptoms that may be signs that you have some sort of penis disease. They will just sit down with you and start talking, while looking at your dick. If you’re there at the hospital, you might as well just take off your clothes. The doctor, however, may have more sexual intrigue than the scientist. It’ll look like you have E.D. around the doctor because you’re so nervous and can’t get it up, even if she tries to make you. Poor guy.
The Innocent One
The innocent one knows no better. She’s never seen a penis before, and she might not have even heard of one before! It’s quite possible in some circles. She will never look at your dick or in the direction of your dick if it’s not noticeable. However, once it’s noticeable, you can bet your sweet ass that she’ll be staring. It’s not out of sexual intrigue, though. She’s probably sitting there, eyes popping out of her head with her mind going, “OH MY GOD! Why does that guy have a ferret in his pants?!” Yes. A ferret. Problem? *trollface* So yes. She may think it’s something else. But she will not know it’s a penis. And she will only look if it’s noticeable to her eyes and makes her question what it might be.